Up to now you have lived your life by the rule book derived from your misperceptions, family, peers, teachers, religious leaders, society and the culture into which you were born as if it were the Gospel Truth. When you start to take charge of your life and the responsibility for its quality, you look at the rules and using your own judgement, throw out, amend, drastically alter or keep the ones that you agree with. A yardstick for this is ‘What rules are conducive NOW to my welfare and well-being’.
Now lets look at the emotions that came alongside these rules – throughout time the human race has held others responsible – listen to the songs ‘he broke my heart’ look at how always there is a witch hunt to point the finger of blame – he made me angry – she upset me.
How does another human alter your emotional state? Is the phrase really ‘he/she/they broke my rule?
YOUR rule – therefore you can alter it – YOU came to that conclusion many years ago from an event, or a series of events and each time it was broken by another – who incidentally would not know what your rules were – you experienced an emotion – anger, sadness, fear, whatever – initially this would be like a grain of sand – each subsequent reinforcement has turned it into a dune – an intense emotion – a greater reaction – and you do what you always did –blame the other person and try/force/manipulate them into altering their behaviour.
So if you follow the feeling back – each time you had experienced it, you would arrive at its birth – the moment in time when you first conceived the idea, the concept of pain, anger, whatever and the corresponding misperception that you arrived at– ‘love hurts’ ‘I am powerless’
Okay, so now you know when and what – how does that help you???
It explains
why and so your mental self has understood the need and the pattern of behaviour. Now by using your life experiences since that event begin to show yourself pictures of when that was not the TRUTH – i.e. you have the power of speech, movement, thought, you have done various things in your life, achieved many things, so, you are far from powerless.
You have experienced different forms of love – friendship, family – not necessarily blood kin, business/colleagues, romance – and so you can lay to rest the myth that love and pain go hand in hand.
You can therefore start telling yourself ‘I am powerful’ – of course you spent many years telling yourself you were powerless,
AND ACTING AS IF you were powerless, so this will need to be a constant reminder to your mental self until you have finally rewritten the CD in your mind with the old message on. This of course needs to go hand in hand with corresponding behaviour ACTING AS IF you are powerful – not a dictator but a PERFECTLY CAPABLE character.
Life, being your friend, will provide you with many opportunities to put this thought into action, grab each one, don’t say you can’t – that was the old way – say instead I can – have a go, find someone who knows and learn from them how to, practise again and again until YOU CAN – how did you learn to read and write, add up, walk – use the same techniques, keep going and just as you learnt those other things in your life so you can learn new actions, new ways of behaving, just like learning to use new technology.
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